Exactly one month ago today, I smoked my last cigarette. A month! I quit smoking a month ago! Holy hell. Honestly, I actually quit smoking. For the last 6 months, I have really wanted to quit and tried multiple times. I would go a week here and there, but by the end of the work week, or the beginning of a hellish one, I would break and buy a pack of cigarettes. But I made it 4+ weeks in a row! Amazing. No smoking cessation products used, either. Just plain willpower and internet venting. Seriously, this blog did help. For one, keeping a hand-written journal sucks when you can type. Typing is faster and less painful. I wrote a paragraph the other day and my hand cramped. Secondly, I was partially a closet smoker, so talking to people I know (or asking for their support) is kind of pointless when half of them never knew I smoked. (I still think they don't need to know). So, thank you blog. Typing my trial has helped immensely.
I noticed the prices of cigarettes the other day while waiting in line at a gas station. I figure I would buy a pack approximately every 3 days. So I estimate my savings to be $80 per month. I just saved $80. Can I eat less now? I wish binge eating was as black and white as smoking; you either do or you don't. I can tell myself "I do not binge eat" every minute, but still think I do. How can I "quit" something that is necessary in moderation to survive?
Today I didn't work. I had 4 nutter butter cookies, handful of mini-oreos, and a small bag of mini-chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. I tell myself it was better than me eating an entire box of cereal. For lunch, I had a peach, apple, 1 slice of provolone cheese, 1 string cheese, and 1 cup of Cheezits. Then I had 8 mini-candy bars. The really little mini ones. I felt 7 months pregnant after that, so I did some crunches and squats. Sometimes I wonder if I would feel better if I just slept all day. Less caloric intake, right?
What is going on with me? Where is my active, energetic, happy self? What can I do to get myself going and stay going for the rest of my life?
Right now, my gut actually is so swollen, I can cradle it like a pregnant belly. I just hate being a woman sometimes. Fupas and whatever. Eh, now I'm just a negative complainer. But I quit smoking!!! No more tobacco smells! No more burning money! No more cancer-that-could-be-prevented risk! Woooo. Hoo.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
3 Weeks and Counting!
Well, it has been exactly 22 days since my last wonderful smoke. I survived a weekend trip with 3 children to visit my dad. Only a 3 hour drive. Spent most of today with a headache. Holy moly. I would love to go outside for a quiet, solitary walk. I used to do just that when I wanted a cigarette. Now, I don't have an excuse to go by myself.
I have absolutely nothing else on my mind. It is nice to have this blog for my record; yesterday I thought it had already been 4 weeks since I quit. Things like this seem to take too long. Ha. Just like weight loss.
I'm fucking tired. Exhausted. When my little girl was 3 months old, I accepted the lack of sleep might last the next 2 years. She turned two 3 months ago. What the hell. I love her more than life itself, and she is also going through an all-Mama-or-nothing phase, but I need her to fall asleep by 9pm and sleep until 6:45am. Just once. Now that the crib is no more, I can't stop her from getting out of bed, opening her door, and screaming all the way down the hall or to my side of the bed. I have actually slept with her in a twin bed, my own bed and a full bed just in the last week. 4 of the last 7 nights, she slept with me all night. 6 of the last 7 nights, I had to rock her to sleep. Only one night did she stay asleep once I laid her into her own bed, by herself. Every morning she wakes up and ends up sleeping the last 1 or 2 hours with me, until my alarm goes off. I am willing to pay someone very good money to abduct me for a minimum of 3 nights so I can catch up on rest. Very good money. All the money I have saved from not buying cigarettes for 3 weeks. Hmmm, now I must do the math.
I have probably saved myself $55 in the last 3 weeks. Now, imagine if I ate super duper healthy and didn't spend any money on fast food! How much money could I save???
I have absolutely nothing else on my mind. It is nice to have this blog for my record; yesterday I thought it had already been 4 weeks since I quit. Things like this seem to take too long. Ha. Just like weight loss.
I'm fucking tired. Exhausted. When my little girl was 3 months old, I accepted the lack of sleep might last the next 2 years. She turned two 3 months ago. What the hell. I love her more than life itself, and she is also going through an all-Mama-or-nothing phase, but I need her to fall asleep by 9pm and sleep until 6:45am. Just once. Now that the crib is no more, I can't stop her from getting out of bed, opening her door, and screaming all the way down the hall or to my side of the bed. I have actually slept with her in a twin bed, my own bed and a full bed just in the last week. 4 of the last 7 nights, she slept with me all night. 6 of the last 7 nights, I had to rock her to sleep. Only one night did she stay asleep once I laid her into her own bed, by herself. Every morning she wakes up and ends up sleeping the last 1 or 2 hours with me, until my alarm goes off. I am willing to pay someone very good money to abduct me for a minimum of 3 nights so I can catch up on rest. Very good money. All the money I have saved from not buying cigarettes for 3 weeks. Hmmm, now I must do the math.
I have probably saved myself $55 in the last 3 weeks. Now, imagine if I ate super duper healthy and didn't spend any money on fast food! How much money could I save???
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